I wish I had said that.

Ever been in need of of a quick-witted comeback only to come up empty in the moment? It’s okay, we’ve all been there. And thanks to these examples of sheer awesomeness from Disney movies, we’ll never have to be there again. Without further ado, we present, Disney comebacks for any (and every) occasion.

“Dishonor on your whole family!” – Mushu, Mulan

Use this comeback when provoked, but beware: dishonor is a big deal. Don’t underestimate the power of this comeback.

“When I am queen, I will have the power to get rid of you.” – Princess Jasmine, Aladdin

This one is special. For particular use when someone has annoyed you. People don’t mess with queens. #Fact

“Ha-ha! Take a look at that you pompous windbag!” – The King, Cinderella

For this comeback, be prepared by having something really cool with you all the time, (your favorite pin or vinylmation perhaps) to bust out while shouting the above, and simultaneously becoming everyone’s hero.

“No.” – Carl, Up

Quick. Efficient. To the point. Versatile. It may be the perfect, unexpected, comeback.

“Forgive me for not leaping for joy. Bad back, you know.” – Scar, The Lion King

This one is genius. Why? Because you not only get to be sarcastic, (always a plus) but you’ll also get sympathy for mentioning the bad back.

“You’re a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.” – Buzz Lightyear, Toy Story

Let’s be honest, this is the greatest. Use frequently and with fervor.

“_______, you are positively primeval.” – Belle, Beauty and the Beast

Insert anyone’s name in the space above and you have just become our hero.

“Here comes the smolder.” – Flynn Rider, Tangled

The smolder is an (almost) foolproof comeback for any scenario. Its power shouldn’t be underestimated. Just make sure no one happens to be holding a frying pan when you enter smolder mode.

“I understand everything…except that wig.” – Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

This comeback requires the person on the receiving end to be wearing a wig (or hair plugs, or just to be having a really bad hair day), so just consider that before going here. #WorthIt

“The word I’m searching for I can’t say, because there’s preschool toys present.” – Woody, Toy Story

Another gem. Bonus: You’ll look really classy protecting the innocence of those preschool toys.

“I knew you weren’t suited for literature.” – Gonzo, The Muppet Christmas Carol

What. a. zinger. The person you say this to will cower in shame. COWER, we say!

“Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.” – Every character, Mary Poppins

We know the sound of it is really quite atrocious, but that’s the point. It’s the chameleon of comebacks– it means whatever you want and/or need it to mean! Use with abundance.

“I’m through with all of you! I’ll get even. Just wait.” – Cruella De Vil, One Hundred and One Dalmatians

Okay, so this one is decidedly creepy. We suggest only using in extreme situations or if you really want to freak someone out. Totally up to you.

“You really delight in this sadistic strain on my blood pressure, don’t you?” – Grimsby, The Little Mermaid

Another double whammy. Guaranteed to elicit pity and guilt. The person on the other end of this comeback will be putty in your hands! Muahahha! (We got a little carried away there. We apologize).

“I’ll know he’s the one when he makes me laugh.” – Minnie Mouse

Boom. Say this whenever anyone asks you why you’re still single.

“We are not a codfish.” – Mary Poppins, Mary Poppins

This makes list for two reasons: 1. The use of the royal “we” is flawless, and 2. Say this to anyone and they’ll be so bewildered that they’ll have to slowly back out of the room. #Winning

Well . . .there you have it. Please use any and all of these comebacks with regularity and you will generally win at the game of life . . . or at least one-uppance.
Good for you.
Never again will you be caught with nothing to say.
You’re welcome.

I aspire to be Julie Andrews when I grow up.

Since was about 4 years old, I've known a few things to be undeniable truths of the universe. The Earth revolves around the sun, socks disappear in the dryer, and Julie Andrews is automatically, without doubt or argument, cooler than everyone else currently or posthumously residing on this planet. She’s practically perfect in every way. Here are some of those ways:

1. She has a sound stage on the Walt Disney Studios Lot named after her. This sound stage will be celebrating its 14th anniversary this year. It’s the place where Julie (we wish we were on a first name basis) filmed both Mary Poppins and The Princess Diaries.


2. She was the voice of the nightly Disneyland Fireworks Spectacular during the Park's 50th Anniversary Celebration, and became the Disneyland Resort Ambassador for the 50th Anniversary Celebration. This brings joy and delight to all, as only Julie and her accent could.


3. She played Queen Clarisse Rinaldi of Genovia. They probably had to invent a fake country for the movie just so they didn’t intimidate queens of real (and less Julie-esque) countries. And she played the part with class, white gloves, and a tiara.


4. She looks cool in all outfits. Even this hat and borderline bow tie.


5. She’s good at so many things that she’s actually the one making the whistling sound of this bird (the first audio-animatronic bird to be used in a film):


6. She makes carousel horses look classy and spectacular, while riding side saddle yet.
    (As only a true lady can.)



7. She makes sliding up banisters look effortless.


8. She makes this face, which seems to say “I’m intelligent, graceful, and cooler than you are” all with an air of humility.
(Especially in a tiara!)


9. Somehow she manages to convey all the emotions of Mary Poppins leaving (because the wind changed) with a single look. And she makes talking to an umbrella look totally normal.


10. She’s in this picture, which we’re pretty sure is one of the best things ever to be committed to film.

We rest our (impeccably mannered, British) case.
(Cue "Feed the Birds".)