Trust Issues

Today's discussion is a reflection of a rather onerous diatribe between two people that used to be friends. Each had accused the other of being deceitful and of trying to wrangle their mutual friends to take sides against the other one. Both of them accused each other of going behind each of the others back to speak disparaging of the other while confidently saying to each others faces that everything was all right and there were no issues or bones of contention.
Did you ever play 'Risk' as a kid? It was a board game of world domination, creating alliances, invading or threatening other countries on the board while you amassed enough 'power' to take over the world. Remember playing with that certain kid that hated to lose? Where they'd either become such an aggressive ass that no one wanted to play with them, especially if they got frustrated at losing, upon where they would toss the board across the room or sweep it off of the table? That is what this situation was like. Two people who insisted that they were right and the other was wrong, causing havoc amongst friends until ultimately no one wanted to play any more with either of them. Creating such a toxic atmosphere that no one wanted to be around them. In the end they were all alone in their misery as all of their mutual friends decided to ostracize them and refused to deal with either of them. As they stood in the wreckage of their friendships neither one of them would accept responsibility for what happened or even extend an olive branch to the other so that a healing could begin. What they did instead was to bond together against their former friends, tell anyone who would listen how they were the wronged parties and their former friends were unfeeling and superficial A-holes that dumped them for no reason.

What is a rational person supposed to do in a situation such as this? What happens when the friends become lovers, or ex-lovers. What happens when the person you love becomes unhinged emotionally, where everything you do is a slight against them. What happens when being rational no longer becomes a viable option? Worse yet, what happens after the dust clears and they want to be with you again? Are you supposed to give them a clean slate and forget the past. Do you ever really forget after you've said that you forgive them. Is the baggage that they've created and filled get put into storage, out of sight - out of mind? Or is it there taking up space, spilling out of the closet, piled up under the bed, falling over in the garage? Do we ever really trust them again or are we waiting for the inevitable other shoe to drop? Some people say that trust is given freely and without reservation. Others say that trust is earned and once tainted is hard to get back. A few say that you should never trust in anything but Smith & Wesson, and to keep it loaded and ready for the inevitable betrayal. Is trust a commodity to be traded or something to be hoarded?

Who do you trust?
With your life? With your heart? With your livelihood? With your future?
Is trust something that is asked for, or is it just there when needed? Can you give someone your trust when they ask for it or is trust something that has to be generated independently within you before you can share it with another. Does trust imply safety? Does the giving of trust establish a bond? Is the only acceptable form of trust printed on legal tender, "In God We Trust"?
When trust is destroyed, betrayed, or taken away does it lessen the person who gave the trust in the first place? Should we be feeling angry or stupid for being that vulnerable?

There are a handful of people I trust beyond measure in my life. The trust was never 'earned' but I knew the moment it happened that they were worthy of my trust. Some are old friends from childhood, some are family members, and some are more recent friends. With each I can say that I truly love them and would do anything that they asked of me without questioning. When my back is against the wall I know they will stand beside me and I them. These friends would never let me down and have gone out of their way to bring me comfort when I've suffered. I believe that the sign of true friendship is never knowing where you end and they begin. In issues of trust I've never known any waiver on their part or I in return. It's all part of a personality or a truth that we share with each other, that despite rights or wrongs we will always know each other's true heart and the gifts we give each other through or love and friendship.

I hope you have the same kind of people in your life. Not only do they make it richer, they give it meaning. A true & caring friend you can trust with you heart is a friend who will never willingly break it or bruise it. And who wouldn't want someone like that in their life?
Sweet dreams Mouseketeers!